9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (2023)

Let’s face it, the way guys act sometimes is mysterious. One night you’re hooking up and the next day he’s acting funny.

There are multiple reasons why this could be.

Here are 9 possible reasons why guys act weird after hooking up:

Why Do Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up?

It can be confusing when a guy changes his attitude after hooking up. Here are some of the most common reasons for this behavior:

1. He’s Trying To Figure Out How He Feels

It’s possible that hooking up has changed the relationship for your guy, and he needs some time to process the new situation. He may be acting quiet or a bit distant as a way to work it out before he can talk with you about it.

If this sounds like your guy, let him take things slowly at first. He probably just needs time before he feels ready to be as open as he used to be. This may actually be a good thing because he’s taking time to authentically assess how he feels as a way of respecting you.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (1)

If you want him to open up more, try initiating the conversation yourself. You can ask if things are weird or uncomfortable because of what happened between you two. If you don’t want to be too confrontational, consider sending him a text message so he can take his time to respond.

2. He’s Trying to Figure Out How You Feel

When a guy acts differently after hooking up, he might be wondering how you feel about what happened. He may become quiet or distant as a way to avoid making assumptions and hurting your feelings.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (2)

It can be difficult for women because we often prefer to talk these things out, and many men don’t intuitively think to do so. If you think your guy is waiting to hear how you feel, be confident and let him know! This doesn’t mean that you have to have your whole future with him figured out, but you can at least be clear about how you feel for now.

3. He Feels Self-Conscious

If you hooked up and things weren’t as magical or romantic as planned, this may make your guy feel a bit self-conscious. He may be acting more quiet or distant as a way to avoid feeling embarrassed about what happened between you two.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (3)

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If you felt positive about the experience, give him some support and let him know that it’s okay. This will let him know that he doesn’t have to be embarrassed and can relax around you.

4. He Thinks You’re Acting Weird

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (4)

There are times when guys act weird after hooking up because they think that you’re acting strange. Ask yourself if your behavior has changed since that night. Have you been asking him to hang out more? Are you more nervous when you’re around him? Have you started using pet names like “honey” or “sweetie”?

If so, understand that he may not know how to react or what to expect. If this is the issue, try opening up more about your feelings and intentions so he knows how you feel without having to guess. You can also ask him how he feels too so that you’re both on the same page and acting “normal”.

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5. He Was Looking for Something Casual

If this guy is only interested in casual relationships or one-night stands, this may be the reason why he is acting weird. He may have been looking for something less emotional and more physical in nature, but now feels guilty because of how close it has become between you two.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (6)

This isn’t always easy to figure out, but you can at least be honest with him. You can directly ask him what kind of relationship he is looking for and he will let you know if he thinks that you two have a future.

If he says he isn’t interested in more than a casual relationship, you can decide whether or not that’s something you’re okay with. At least now you know and aren’t wasting any more time on someone who isn’t looking for a long-term relationship.

6. He Has Been Busy

Sometimes we can mistake weirdness or distance for a lack of availability. It doesn’t feel good when someone you recently hooked up with doesn’t answer your texts or calls right away, but he may legitimately be busy.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (7)

If this is the case, don’t take it personally and give him time to get back to you before starting to worry or assume he doesn’t like you anymore. If he does get back with more of a sense of urgency, then that’s usually an indication that things are okay between you two.

You can ask him about his schedule if you want to clarify it so that you can respect his work or school hours without getting worried about what the lack of communication means.

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7. He’s Afraid of Vulnerability

Sometimes guys act weird or distance themselves after hooking up because they are afraid of getting too emotionally close. He may feel like he is opening himself up to an emotional situation when there’s no real reason for it, so why risk the vulnerability?

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (8)

If this sounds familiar, be open about your intentions with him and let him know what you’re looking for in the relationship. This can help to make him less intimidated and scared of what might happen if he lets you in.

If not, just understand that it may be a matter of timing and give him some space until he is ready to open up without fear or worry. Letting him come around on his own time will help the situation and keep things from getting too awkward between you two.

8. He’s Seeing Other People

It’s not the most positive reason why someone is acting weird, but it can be a reason. This doesn’t always mean that he has been hooking up with other people since you two hooked up, either.

It could also simply indicate the fact that he was seeing someone else first and isn’t sure how to handle his feelings about both of you or what this means for your relationship.

The best approach to this is to ask your guy if he is open and seeing other people right now. Don’t ask too many specifics, since you are not yet his girlfriend and need to have respect for his personal life. However, for the sake of safety and respect, it’s important if he tells you if he’s hooking up with other people.

If he says yes, then it’s probably best to see him in a casual way until he is ready for something more serious. This means not getting too attached or starting to consider the possibility of long-term commitment because that isn’t what he wants right now.

9. He’s Not Acting Weird

Sometimes we assume a guy is acting weird after hooking up because we feel weird. This makes us super-sensitive to the actions and mannerisms of others.

Take some time to ask yourself if this is the case. If you’re not sure, then find a friend and talk it out with them. Get their perspective on what’s going on and see if they can help to clear things up for you or tell you anything about the situation that might be helpful in understanding why your guy is acting differently towards you than before hooking up.

Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?

Men are definitely emotionally affected after a hook-up. Whether or not they are affected in the same way as women depends on a lot of factors. Some men may feel more compelled to take things slow after hooking up, while others might want to move forward quickly or even start dating right away.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (9)

The most important factor is communication. A man who is ready for a relationship will find it to be comfortable and easy to talk about what happened. He may take initiative and ask you on a date, tell you about his feelings, or even just check in with a text to see how you feel afterward.

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If your guy is struggling to talk about what happened, then it may be because he’s not ready for anything serious yet, even if he has caught feelings. He will need to do some personal work to be ready for a continued relationship.

How to Tell if a Guy is Interested in You After You Hook Up

If you’re trying to figure out if a guy is into you after hooking up, then the best place to look would be at his actions. This means paying attention to whether he initiates contact with you again or shows an interest in seeing more of you.

You will also want to pay attention to how he acts when you’re together. If he’s interested, he will be warm, physically affectionate, and relaxed around you. He will make romantic or flirtatious comments confidently, and won’t be afraid to express his interest in front of others.

It’s always a good idea to talk to your guy after hooking up to get a clear idea of how he’s feeling. If he responds positively to your questions, it’s a clear sign that he’s being honest and isn’t feeling obligated to say anything more than he’s comfortable with.

Don’t forget to let him know how you feel as well! Many men also wonder where their partners are at after hooking up and appreciate confident honesty.

Should I Text Him After Hooking Up?

It can be challenging to know whether you should message your guy after hooking up, especially if it’s the first time that it has happened. If you want to avoid overstepping your boundaries or coming on too strong, then it’s a good idea to ask yourself some questions first.

  • Is he someone that I see myself dating in the future?
  • Does he have feelings for me? What are they?
  • Do we normally text a lot, especially after hanging out?

These questions can help provide some context that will let you know what’s the most appropriate approach.

9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (10)

If you’re feeling a desire to reach out but aren’t sure if it’s a good idea, you can message him something casual and non-confrontational. Here are some good texts that you can send that aren’t too direct:

  • I hope you got home safe. Thanks for coming over!
  • That was fun, thanks. Have a great week.
  • I really had a great time. Let me know if you’d like to hang out again.
  • What a wild ride! Thanks for the excitement.

These texts are positive, grateful, and don’t put a lot of pressure on a guy to have another date or get directly into a conversation about feelings and relationship status.

Give him some time to get back to you and don’t take it personally if he takes a few days.

Final Thoughts

It can be a strange experience to hook up with a guy and then wonder if he’s into you or not. Men are sensitive after sex even though they don’t show it in the same way that women do, so be sure to give him some time before pushing things too hard.

Pay attention to his actions instead of what he says directly, and let him know how you feel in a confident, but not in an overly confrontational way. If you do this, you’ll eventually be able to tell if he’s ready for a relationship or not and how he feels about you as well.

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9 Reasons Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up (#3 Shocked Us) (11)

Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I believe a few simple tips can help people massively improve their communication skills with their partners and really express themselves. Thanks for visiting!

Table of Contents


Why do guys act weird after a hookup? ›

However, one of the common reasons why guys act weird is when they are not ready to be committed to the relationship. They might have feelings for you, but they are not ready to settle down. Another reason could be that he is unsure if he is the right match for you.

Do guys feel anything after a hookup? ›

Women tend to be labeled as more clingy and emotionally dependent than men, but the truth is that guys can catch feelings after hooking up, too. One scientific study proves that women aren't the only gender who “feels” things after sex. It seems men are just as prone to experiencing that post-sex connection.

How do you tell if a guy likes you after you hook up? ›

12 ways to know if a guy likes you after a one-night stand
  1. He Calls You the Next Day. Let's be clear: ...
  2. He Surprises You with Breakfast. ...
  3. He Takes You to His Place. ...
  4. He Adds You on Social Media. ...
  5. He Asks You Out on a Date. ...
  6. He Wants to Get to Know You. ...
  7. The Conversation is Easy. ...
  8. He Cuddles You.
Sep 20, 2022

Why do I feel weird after a hookup? ›

When you have sex, a number of different hormones surge through your body, including dopamine and oxytocin. If you orgasm, other hormones are released too, such as prolactin. All together, these hormones can cause some pretty intense emotions. After sexual activity ends, these hormone levels drop.

Who is more likely to feel distress after a hookup? ›

Campbell also found that men had stronger feelings of being "sorry because they felt they used another person," whereas women had stronger feelings of "regret because they felt used." Again, both men and women had experienced some sexual regret, but women were more negatively impacted by some hook-up experiences.

Do guys know when they messed up? ›

If a guy feels embarrassed about his past behavior, it is one of the positive signs a guy knows he messed up. As a responsible person, he feels ashamed about his irresponsible behavior. On top of that, he is also embarrassed that he lost the chance of having a perfect life with you by doing something stupid.

Why do men act different after you sleep with them? ›

During sex, oxytocin increases, which has the effect of lowering testosterone. When a man's testosterone levels decrease, he feels a great need to pull away and may even lose interest for a while. As his testosterone levels rebuild, his interest returns.

Does sleeping with someone create a bond? ›

Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.

What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›

In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.

How do you tell if a guy wants more than a hookup? ›

Make sure to watch out for these signs!
  1. He never brings you to meet his family or friends. ...
  2. He only texts you. ...
  3. He doesn't make any plans that are in the future. ...
  4. He only compliments your looks and not your personality. ...
  5. He's open about his emotions and what he's going through– the good or the bad.
Mar 22, 2019

How do guys feel after a one-night stand? ›

It truly is the greatest feeling in the world, and there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I think for me (and I think most men would agree), it's the ultimate compliment. The fact that a woman was attracted enough to you to want to spend the night with you and have sex with you is truly a great feeling!

How do you test if a guy likes you back? ›

10 Ways to Find Out Your Crush Likes You Back
  1. They Look At You. ...
  2. They Are Interested To Know About You. ...
  3. They Ask About Your Status. ...
  4. They Are Nervous Around You. ...
  5. They Make Extra Effort To Talk To You. ...
  6. They Find Excuses To Surprise You With Lovely Gifts. ...
  7. They Always Look For Excuses To Spend Time With You.
Jan 13, 2022

Can you get attached after hooking up? ›

Reminder: Sex, including casual sex, causes the brain to release oxytocin, which makes you feel more emotionally tied to the other person(s). Basically, you're biologically wired to attach to any sexual partners, so it's not only common, it's natural.

How do you not get attached after a hookup? ›

13 Ways to Not Catch Feelings
  1. 1 Be honest about what you want.
  2. 2 Set some ground rules.
  3. 3 Minimize calls and texts.
  4. 4 Stay off each other's social media.
  5. 5 See them only once or twice a month.
  6. 6 Hang out only at night.
  7. 7 Tell them you don't want any romantic gifts or gestures.
  8. 8 Avoid cuddling and PDA.

What are the psychological effects of hooking up? ›

In addition to sexual regret, casual sex is associated with psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, as well as low self-esteem and reduced life satisfaction (Bersamin et al., 2014).

What are the negative effects of hookups? ›

Despite the prevalence of positive feelings, hookups can include negative outcomes, such as emotional and psychological injury, sexual violence, sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy.

What should you not do during a hookup? ›

What should you not do during a hookup?
  • Not Stopping To Talk About Your Likes & Dislikes. ...
  • Never Speaking Up During Sex. ...
  • Going In With Unclear Expectations. ...
  • Caring Too Much About Being "Good" ...
  • Doing Something You're Not Comfortable With. ...
  • Not Paying Attention To Your Own Needs.

How should you act after a hookup? ›

A few minutes after
  1. Any attempt at cuddling is a deal breaker. ...
  2. Start a light conversation (if you can't stay quiet). ...
  3. Just get it over with. ...
  4. Send them a one-sentence message or none at all. ...
  5. Don't initiate or entertain a lengthy conversation replaying your sack session. ...
  6. You don't have to be friends with them.
May 12, 2015

What are the signs of a damaged man? ›

15 signs of an emotionally broken man
  • He still lives in his past. ...
  • Withholds investing in the present relationship. ...
  • Epic and seamless mood swings. ...
  • Consider expressing his love as being 'weak' or 'needy. ...
  • Self-esteem is always low. ...
  • Unhealthy quest for success. ...
  • Engages in common vices.
Dec 7, 2021

How long does it take a guy to realize he misses you? ›

So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.

How to play a player after sleeping with him? ›

How To Play Hard To Get With a Guy You've Already Slept With?
  1. #1 Don't Call Him.
  2. #2 Don't Get Clingy.
  3. #3 Make Him Feel Needed.
  4. #4 Don't Ask About Your Relationship Status.
  5. #5 Be Unavailable.
  6. #6 Leave After Sex.
  7. #7 Don't Sleep With Him The Next Time You See Him.
  8. #8 Be Emotionally Unavailable.
Apr 15, 2022

How do you get a guy to chase you after sleeping with him? ›

Sometimes a subtle approach is better and more comfortable, so here are eight foolproof techniques to make him chase you after you hook up.
  1. Understand What He's Thinking. ...
  2. Don't Make Demands On Him. ...
  3. No Pressure. ...
  4. Allow Him To Be A Man. ...
  5. Be Yourself And Focus On Yourself. ...
  6. Be Fun and Sexy When You're Together. ...
  7. Go With The Flow.
Sep 29, 2022

How do guys get emotionally attached? ›

He introduces you to his loved ones

When a guy introduces you to his loved ones, an emotional attachment has been established. Not all men are comfortable introducing their love interests to their family and friends. However, if a man does this, it is because he wants them to accept you.

Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings? ›

Men can definitely sleep with a woman without developing feelings. In fact, that's what they do every single day.

Does cuddling increase bonding? ›

“Sometimes called the “cuddle hormone” or “feel-good hormone,” oxytocin is produced by the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland when we're physically affectionate, producing what some describe as warm fuzzies – feelings of connection, bonding, and trust,” said Paula S.

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? ›

Appreciation, infatuation, attraction, impression, and conviction are the 5 bonding stages for a man.

How do you tell if a guy feels a connection with you? ›

12 telltale signs a man is emotionally attached to you
  1. He gives his best. ...
  2. He constantly sends you messages. ...
  3. He has great memory. ...
  4. He wants to be committed. ...
  5. He is always there when things are not good. ...
  6. He makes plans to be with you. ...
  7. He never wants to leave you. ...
  8. He shares about his family.
Mar 31, 2022

What does a man desire most from a woman? ›

Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself.

How do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? ›

14 Signs He Wants You to Leave Him Alone (with tips)
  1. A deep sense of disconnection. ...
  2. You're always initiating conversations. ...
  3. He tells you directly. ...
  4. He ignores texts/calls from you. ...
  5. Lack of vulnerability (from his end) ...
  6. Lack of sexual intimacy. ...
  7. He doesn't desire to be physically around you. ...
  8. You're excluded from his activities.
May 17, 2022

How often do hookups turn into relationships? ›

Although 30-60% of individuals go into their hookups with the hope of having a romantic relationship (see above), one study of college students found that only 12% of people who had ever hooked up indicated that a hookup had evolved into a romantic relationship (Paul, McManus, & Hayes, 2000).

Do guys regret one-night stands? ›

The results show that while men and women experience sexual regret, they often regret very different choices. Researchers find women tend to regret having a one night stand more than men. Conversely, men often regret passing up on a chance for casual sex more frequently than women.

Do men enjoy one-night stands? ›

Anne Campbell, a past psychologist at Durham University in England carried out research on one-night stands and while 80 percent of the men had overall positive feelings, just 54 percent of the women surveyed had positive feelings.

How do you forget a guy after a one night stand? ›

You might feel close to him because you shared an intimate conversation (which was real — science!), but that doesn't mean it was meant to last more than one night. So mute, block, unfollow, and go on with your life. He won't notice.

What are the psychological signs of guy likes you? ›

22 Subtle Signs A Guy Likes You, From Dating Experts
  • He leans toward you during conversation. ...
  • He angles his body toward you in the room. ...
  • He finds small ways to compliment you. ...
  • He makes eye contact. ...
  • He steals a glance at you. ...
  • He singles you out in a group. ...
  • He seems drawn to you in the room.
Nov 26, 2021

How do I know if I like him or if I just like the attention? ›

Signs you just like the attention

If you're only talking to them for attention, Wood says you might notice the following red flags: You feel anxious without their time or attention. You're emotionally unavailable, and you keep your guard up. You don't know much about them beyond the surface (and you don't care to).

How do you know if a guy likes you but is hiding it back? ›

Signs your guy friend likes you but is afraid to admit it
  • 01/8​Signs your guy friend likes you but is afraid to admit it. ...
  • 02/8​He acts nervously around you. ...
  • 03/8​He remembers the small details. ...
  • 04/8​He is interested in your love life. ...
  • 05/8​He looks for excuses to meet you alone. ...
  • 06/8​He compliments you.
Aug 18, 2021

Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? ›

One of the possible answers to why do guys distance themselves after intimacy is because they are in their refractory period. It is difficult for men to immediately go for subsequent rounds after they ejaculate. They need more time to achieve the same excitement level so that they can adequately satisfy you in bed.

Why do I get so attached after hookups? ›

I'm here to tell you that such a feeling is normal, and nothing to suppress or be ashamed of. According to psychologist Tamsen Butler, regardless of whether or not you orgasm when having sex with someone, the body releases increased levels of oxytocin, which creates that sense of attachment.

Why do I feel weird after hooking up with someone? ›

When you have sex, a number of different hormones surge through your body, including dopamine and oxytocin. If you orgasm, other hormones are released too, such as prolactin. All together, these hormones can cause some pretty intense emotions. After sexual activity ends, these hormone levels drop.

How do you know if you're catching feelings? ›

Here are a few signs that you may be falling in love, but your mileage may vary.
  • You're seeing through rose-colored glasses. ...
  • The warm and fuzzies heal your pain. ...
  • You feel lovesick. ...
  • You can't eat, can't sleep. ...
  • You might start to feel a little obsessed. ...
  • You develop cravings. ...
  • The eyes have it. ...
  • You gotta get too close for comfort.
Jul 9, 2021

Do hookups ever turn into something more? ›

It's absolutely possible—and not uncommon—for the relationship to become something more. Like all matters of the heart, starting a new relationship doesn't happen instantly. Thankfully, it's easier when you're already on close terms with the person occupying your thoughts.

Do guys get nervous about hooking up? ›

It's far from uncommon for men to feel nervous, anxious or uncomfortable before and during sexual activity -- a common problem that's known as sexual performance anxiety.

Why do guys stop talking to me after hooking up? ›

They might have misunderstood and thought you wanted a casual encounter or they might not have been that into it. It's probably somewhere in between,” she tells Elite Daily. The real key to getting over a ghost is to do your best to not take it personally.

How long do guys wait to text after a hookup? ›

The 3-Day Rule. This unspoken rule says you must wait approximately three days after a first date before you contact someone again. People follow this rule because they don't want to come off as desperate or too interested. Often, people feel uneasy if the level of desire isn't equal in a relationship.

How do you make him chase you after hooking up? ›

Sometimes a subtle approach is better and more comfortable, so here are eight foolproof techniques to make him chase you after you hook up.
  1. Understand What He's Thinking. ...
  2. Don't Make Demands On Him. ...
  3. No Pressure. ...
  4. Allow Him To Be A Man. ...
  5. Be Yourself And Focus On Yourself. ...
  6. Be Fun and Sexy When You're Together. ...
  7. Go With The Flow.
Sep 29, 2022

When a guy acts interested then backs off? ›

He may have detected that you're interested in more than just hooking up, and he's trying to back away slowly. His sudden lack of interest could signal he wants to end things, or that he wants to keep you at a distance. Either way, if he's not interested in more than sex, and you are, it's probably not a good match.

Do guys notice when you stop talking to them? ›

Whether a guy notices you've stopped texting him can also depend on how he feels about you. Even if you haven't discussed the nature of your relationship, but he can feel something brewing, he'll notice when you stop texting him.

How do you tell if he enjoys you in bed? ›

Is Happy With You. If the guy looks happy and content after lovemaking, it means you mean a lot to him, and he enjoyed every bit of time while making out with you. But if he goes off to sleep or gets busy with his phone immediately after the act, he is probably there just for sex.

What to text a guy after you slept with him? ›

Tease him with cheeky messages, let him know you're thinking of how much fun you had together in the bedroom, and maybe suggest something fun to try next time. This is a great way of showing that you're attracted to him and interested in him without it getting too emotional or clingy too soon.

How do I stop being clingy after a hookup? ›

If you want to avoid clinginess in a romantic relationship, work on communicating those boundaries and practicing your independence:
  1. Set clear communication boundaries (when you text, how often, etc.)
  2. Openly express your needs.
  3. Independently explore your own hobbies.
  4. Make time for other relationships in your lives.

How do you make a guy go crazy after you? ›

Ask him questions about himself. Show him you're curious about his life or his day by asking questions. You'll make your boyfriend feel seen, which can make him crazy about you. Being a good listener also makes your boyfriend feel heard and understood.

How do you make a guy crazy obsessed with you? ›

How To Make Your Boyfriend Obsessed With You
  1. Make Your Boyfriend Feel Loved. ...
  2. Make Him Feel Valued. ...
  3. Be An Equal Partner In a Relationship. ...
  4. Be Educated and Smart. ...
  5. Don't Be Afraid To Have Fun. ...
  6. Allow Yourself To Be Vulnerable. ...
  7. Take Care Of Your Looks.
Dec 16, 2022

How do you make a man miss you in bed? ›

Pleasant yet sensual smells can attract your man, making him desire for more, which in turn, can lead to some steamy hot action in the bedroom. So, go get yourself an amazing perfume and see your man miss and desire for you more!


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